The daily drift of thoughts, and nothing constructive enough to even mention. no conclusions. no new appiphanies about life. just useless thought. Thought that just makes me more sad. More demented and strange. I was at this local concert of bands and stuff, and it was the first time i felt happy in a while. I moshed and drank and had complete strangers' sweat on my body, and feeling just fine about it. i imagined that we were all in the bottom depths of hell, strange forms demented in their misery, moving and mobbing up together, taking their shoots of relief from their everyday torture. I guess one person's life could be hell, while another person's life could be heaven. I had so much fun. I met someone there. he liked me, i think. but who knows. he doesnt go to my school. he probably doesnt go to a school at all. he looked about 20. im sure if he knew i was still in school he wouldnt talk to me. Nothing will happen. Plus, alot of girls were, like, hanging off of him. Im sure he probably has, like, five girlfriends. Im way too ugly. Im a guys friend. U know, the one who hooks him and other girls up. The one who, when confronts him about her feelings in a non-clingish way, he says she's more like a sister than anything. Yup, thats me. The akward loud girl who annoys everyone, and laughs so that they dont. Not at her. I wonder if there's a loud akward boy some where out there who's alone. Who's hurting. who wants the hurt to stop. i wonder.